How's it going bros?
Andy Murray lost in an exhibition yesterday, in other news, the world is not over. I find it hard to believe that people on social media are concerned with Andy Murray's performance in a match that didn't matter against a Top 10 player. The only relevance it posed is that the #AndyFaceofSheerDiscomfort still exists; this took me 6 pages of google image searching to find.
To all the critics and concerned Brits who are ready to call him a Scot again, know that Andy Murray is not going anywhere for a while. His AcBROlades:
-He's young as hell
-His deuce court on-the-run forehand is the best shot in the sport right now; minus, maybe, the Djoker down-the-line backhand RKO
-He is the game's sweetheart; until Nadal wins the French Open
-Kim Sears is hot
-The Speech
-And lastly, the #AndyFaceofSheerDiscomfort which is #awesomehashtag
But some folks are going to fall off the pedestal. Combination of being old, being due to fall back down to earth, and some who may just fall. Including his opponent yesterday, but I'll get into that.
10 Bros who will be ranked lower at this time next year then they are now:
Ready. Set. BRO.
1. Janko Tipsarevic- The first time I had ever seen Tipsy play was in the 2010 US Open against my post-adolescent man crush Andy Roddick. He was unseeded and took out the local legend in the 2nd round. I then saw him again in Memphis at what used to be called the Regions Morgan Keegan classic; who knows what they call it now, or cares?
I like his style of play, Tipsy has a live arm on his serve and forehand, and mostly plays little man tennis #tennisbro. He won 57 matches last year including a QF run at the open. He's best friends with Novak BROkovic, has a super hot wife and does his own mashes of house music. Tipsy also stirred up quite s&%* storm on twitter regarding the equal compensation of both tours; last time I checked, this is America.
From a performance standpoint, Tipsy is not on the same level as the 8 guys ranked ahead of him right now. Meaning he can't advance; roughly 500 points below number 8. Tsonga. I'll certainly pull for him, but I see him going to Verdasco route and falling out of the top 10 and maybe out of the top 15 with all the talent that is on the cusp behind him. However, no one would be happier then me to have the tennis version of the Braves' Dan Uggla #musclehampster jump Tsonga and make a move to the top. Idemo!
2. Pico Monaco- Pico is one of the most popular players on the tour. He's another bro from Tandil who won 4 of his 7 career titles in 2012. He got hot at the Sony Ericsson in Miami and stayed hot through the summer. Studly clay court player, but there are some big time guys ranked between the 13 and 20 spot who could just as easily make a run and place higher then he. My guess, is his season will manifest itself in a drop to the mid 20's. If he tanks hard he could fall down to around 40.
3. Stanislas Wawrinka- Solid name, great 1-handed backhand and has deceptive power. 4 years ago he ascended as high as number 9 in the world. He stays perpetually between the number 15 and 21 rankings now a days. Yesterday I declared at least 3 guys close to him in ranking will rise this year (Dolgopolov, Janowicz, Chardy). This may be a year Wawrinka finishes are number 25. It helps him that Nadal will not be playing the Aussie, a tournament he has had success at. He needs to rack up the points while he can. Not sure that will be enough for him this year.
4. Tommy Haas- He was ranked number 2 in the world... When I was 13 years old. I listed him as a top 5 player on my Rad Rankings list, and I still hold true to it. But at 854720863576753075398 years old, you can still be a total badass and hover around a triple digit ranking; cough, cough, Ivo Karlovic.
5. Mardy Fish- He inspired us all in 2010 by losing a ton of weight, keeping a proper diet, and beating the ever loving crap out of the competition. He remained consistent as the top-ranked American in 2011. But a heart condition knocked the cowboy off his horse last year, forcing him to retire his 4th round match to Mr. Federer in the US Open. He will sit out the Aussie and his ranking will fall out of the top 30. Playing only 32 matches last year and what I am sure will be a reduced tournament schedule this year, he will not gain as many points. This starts the downfall for Mardy. He is the last of a dying breed as a serve and volley player, he is getting a rotten deal out of the whole thing. May end the year ranked around number 50.
6. Marcos Baghdatis- It is very very very insane to believe that the guy who cursed during an interview after playing Andre Agassi is only 27? This guy is sneakily the most entertaining player on tour. The only reason I would ever want his ranking to fall is for a repeat of this. The best part of him going agro on his racquets is Stan Wawrinka's reaction, I for one, would be dying laughing if I watched that. Well played, Stan, well played.
7. Nikolay Davydenko- I'm ignoring the fact that there are like 14 player's on tour who share the first name Nikolay. I will not ignore the inability of Mr. Davydenko to separate business and pleasure. His wife is his coach. He constantly is changing racquet sponsors, and he complains to a degree that would make a french dude on tour proud to call him his own. But I do respect the former world number 3. So much so that I will can anything that could be construed as insulting and just say he will finish outside the top 50 this year, mmkay?
8. Brian Baker- This one hurts. This is like being hit in the sack by a tank shell. Brian Baker was the comeback player of the year in 2012. He was the sports Rudy. Surgery after surgery to repair injury after injury. He made the Cinderella run into the round of 16 at Wimby. He and I even share the the privilege to call Tennessee home; I lived there for some of the most splendid years of my life. My employer, the USTA Southern LOOOOOVVVVEEEESSSS this guy.
As painful as it is to say the under dog will go back in kennel, all signs are pointing to it. It isn't easy to win on this level, but it is easier to gain confidence when the whole sport is cheering for you to succeed. Finally at 28 Brian Baker will get a chance to battle the existence of a sophomore slump. Rather then a 5 month season, he will try to compete for 10. Will his hips, shoulders and legs make it all the way through? Can he move up into the top 50? His game is certainly good enough, but now his war-torn body has to survive.
I try to be as optimistic as I can being an American tennis fan, but history has not been my buddy on this one. Remember this list is not about drastic downturns, but negative movement, I am worried Baker may fall to around 70 and that Ryan Harrison and Jack Sock will be the promising American sons this year.
9. David Nalbandian- That Mullet, #LULZ. He can still provide excitement. He really isn't the guy you want to mess with though if you're a chair umpire; god this guy scares me. He definitely gets the award for biggest mullet-having serial killer look alike on tour. Don't f%$^ with the bull, or you get the man horns. That shouldn't have been a default, but a praise for the return of the bad boy movement in tennis. Though he'll probably be knocking on 100's door this season.
10. Rafael Nadal- Monte Carlo and French Open Championships, then falling in the 2nd round at Wimbledon, then the knee surgeries came. 2012 was a roller coaster for Rafa. The news got worse today. He pulled out of the Aussie Open setting his return date for Acapulco.
Now we all know at this point Rafa could only play clay tournaments for the rest of his career and still have 15 major titles before he hangs it up. We all also know that that will never happen given his competitive nature. He is a fighter and that is what makes this even worse.
With no points gained in Melbourne, and his body beginning to regress; something we all knew was going to happen sooner rather then later given his style of play, Rafa could potentially find himself out of the top 10 this year. The field is getting too competitive and there aren't enough points to be gained on clay courts to carry a top 5 ranking when struggling. I don't know for sure if it is a really bad stomach virus, or his knees. But this is the first time in a long time the tennis establishment may look at the potential of a top 4 that lacks the name, Nadal.
That's it for the journalistic stuff for a while, bros.
follow me on twitter @thetennisbro.
Gin Gin
Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro
Friday, December 28, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
10 Rising Bros on Tour
Internet,
For all of my close friends who are wanting some sort of elaborate laugh riot of an account of my trip to Las Vegas, let's use our phones instead.
EARTH LAW: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas; says every person ever when you tell them you are going to or went to Las Vegas.
Las Vegas did, however, enlighten me to the fact that there are NO good places to grab a slice of Pizza in Jackson; sorry Sbarros.
I am shifting my attention towards the coming ATP World Tour season. Just like the respawn of any sport, it offers promise. The Djoker hasn't yet won the Aussie, Rafa hasn't yet won the French, the baselines haven't been rubbed raw at Wimby and the Americans haven't all been eliminated in the first week of the US Open. Just kidding we always make the quarters before getting our gizzards ripped out by the rest of the world.
I declared last season the Year of the Dolg expecting Novak BROkovic to fall off the top of the pedestal and Alexandr BROgopolov to make his entry into the sport's top 10. This did not happen. Dolgo peaked at 13 and Nole never fell below number 2. This bold prediction of mine was wrong for the following:
-Dolgo started the year by losing to the eventual Cinderella man of the sport, Andy Murray in the Brisbane final. He then lost to the hometown blue blood Bernard Tomic in the 3rd round of the Aussie Open. The 3rd Round would be his best finish at a major in 2012. Nowhere to go but up from here.
-Novak Djokovic is really the Apex Predator of the ATP World Tour right now. I say this about once every 3 posts on here, but the dude really is the Randy Orton of Professional Tennis. When you think about Novak Djokovic, you have to consider the cover-all court movement, the flexibility of a gymnast, the ability to hit a winner with all shots from anywhere in the court, the best backhand of all time (like Randy's RKO being the best finisher of all time) and Jelena Ristic. I wouldn't mind having her cheer for all of my Rec League matches right?
Moving forward with the new season, I have a list of 10 bros who I think will be ranked higher at the end of 2013 then they were at the end of 2012.
Ready. Set. BRO.
1. Bernard Tomic- Ok let's just get this one out of the way. Yes he has run into some trouble with the law, and he also probably threw the match against Roddick in the Open last year; we all wanted him to win but a little effort would not have killed you, bro beans. Bernie, right now, is the badass the tennis community deserves and the one it desperately needs right now. A sport full of nice rich boys is boring to folks that don't respect the game. Tennis needs a McEnroe figure back in the fold to stir stuff up. Once he drops the parental supervision on the practice court, his inner Bon Jovi can fly.
Tomic is still a budding super star. He stands 6'5", he is 200 pounds, his strokes are real clean and he has a ton of swagger on court; when he's mentally in it. I still find it hard to believe a 20 year old from a country as rooted in tennis success as Australia would have a seamless rise to the top when he can't even drink legally in the nation that boasts the most tournaments of his best playing surface.
Bernie is the kind of up and comer that would make Billy Beane's scouting table go gaga over. He is a face guy, he possesses a strong back court game, and his serve is mighty. People have not forgotten that at 19 years old he made the Wimbledon quarterfinals as an unseeded competitor. He has all the tools to be a hard court and grass force, but he has to get over the hump. A strong showing in Brisbane will prove that his shortcomings with the law don't bother him. If he makes a run in Melbourne, he can take some serious mo' with him to Indian Wells and Miami.
Best of luck bro. See you back in the top 30 at year's end.
2. Juan Martin Del Potro- Del BROtro, the Tower of Tandil, Mr. Nice Guy, Champ; all great nicknames, all apply to the current Number 7 ranked player on tour.
Del Bro was sidelined for most of 2010 having had wrist surgery. It took most of 2011 for him to return to form and he really came back into his own during the late summer months in 2012. His most notable match, unfortunately, was retiring American Legend Andy Roddick in the round of 16 at the US Open. A great match, well played on a very windy day and the spotlight was on the man opposite the net; though totally deserved for an incredible career and total bro lifestyle.
Given his size and quick hands, I fully expect Del BROtro to stay put in the top 10. He is perpetually one of the most dangerous men on a hard court when in shape. He has made it to the semis at the French before and won the US Open in '09.
I'm a sucker for the 24 going on 45 look, so I'm pulling for this dude to get into the top 5 and stay put by Year's end.
3. Alexandr Dolgopolov- As you already know, I declared 2012 the Year of the Dolg. That didn't necessarily come true as I was hoping. I was under the impression a top 10 finish seemed within reach. A top 20 finish is still something of merit for a 24 year old with many years left in his career.
We are now in Australia for the next month of the season, this is BROgopolov's time. He always brings his best to the hard courts down under. He has ultra fast hands, he covers the court like 8/10 of a Roger Federer; that's a compliment, and looks eerily similar to his coach Jack Reader; its like they planned it.
Besides having the best backhanded slice ever of all time; you read that right, look for more forehand winners from the Dolg. He gets his opponents out of sort and pounces like a chess player setting the king up for slaughter. I expect quarter final runs in Melbourne and at the Open this year and with at least a handful of guys ahead of him probably tumbling in the rankings, he could be close to an elusive top 10 finish in 2013.
4. Milos Raonic- I don't know if I like Raonic because he's Canadian and doesn't play hockey; a rarity up nort' donchaknow? It may actually be that he's Montenegrin-born and I have seen Casino Royale enough times to have it memorized. Its actually probably him constantly making his coach, Galo Blanco, do push ups during practice and then taking pictures of it and posting them on his twitter. Whatever the case, I am a fan of this guy.
Raonic is probably the proverbial prom queen on this list. Of all players on the outside of the top 10 looking in, I would say he stands the best chance of making an upward move as soon as January.
I've seen him top 150 with a serve before, all braun, all bro. His forehand leaves plenty for a tennis bro to be impressed with. Raonic also has the love of a massive country. The only love because no matter what his accomplishments may be, people don't know who Daniel Nestor is. He does have the Biebs to compete with for total super stardom in Canada, but I foresee a future Wimbledon Champion. It would do the sport a lot of good for him and Bernard Tomic to become a mainstay rivalry. Like a classic good cop/bad cop kind of thing.
My only advice to you bro, cut your hair, the NHL ain't happenin' and we don't need any hockey mullets serving as a constant reminder that a 2nd rate sport is on strike.
5. Jerzy Janowicz- Let's talk about being to BROtal Package for a minute. Jerzy Janowicz strolls into a bar, all 6'8" of him, he starts talking broken english with his polish accent, orders up some sausage and sour kraut, tells us all the story about how he beat Andy Murray in a match; the ladies go CRAZY.
Janowicz, to me, where body types are concerned, is like a right-handed Goran Ivanisevic. I don't think he actually serve and volleys; a lost art form, but he does have the frame that makes me believe he could have some serious results if his confidence and strokes continue to improve each week. He beat Murray in France using a LOT of backhanded slice drop shots to the deuce court; classic Tennis Bro Maneuver.
This guy, to me, has the look of a future Wimbledon Champion in the coming years. He's 22, moves the court well, and hits screamers. A top 15 finish seems legit to me for the ol' Jerzy.
6. Martin Klizan- You probably only know this guy as the no-namer who made a run into the round of 16 at the US Open. And that's ok because that's about all I know him for too. Martin Klizan, for everyone's information, is from Bratislava and according to his ATP World Tour page, fluent in like 45604654307650 different languages which a seriously rad tennis bro thing to do. He won 4 titles last year and considers himself a clay courter. Meaning lots and lots of success is imminent since no one does that anymore. He's ranked number 30 right now, but he could sneak into the top 20 if he plays loosely.
7. Jack Sock- This burrito stuffing, forehand smashing, reporter ignoring, lady slaying super star in the making is going to be the toast of the United States by year's end. He is still a ways off from hoisting a US Open Trophy, but I am inclined to believe that he'll beat Ryan Harrison to the punch of making a run at a major. And he'll do it the good old fashion American way, eating fried chicken and playing electric guitar solos from the song Kashmir by led zep'. That's a joke, but Mr. Sock is becoming an increasing threat to the rest of the tour the longer he stays healthy. He could break into the top 50 if he stays healthy and plays 25 tournaments or so this year.
8. Fabio Fognini- just kidding, this is him. Looky here bros, I don't know if this guy is actually going to rise up or not, I just know he's a pretty rad individual. I watched him serve out a match with cramps or something so bad he couldn't jump into his serve and he still finished. He has the Italian Warrior spirit; that's a joke, but it really happened. He also was joking around being really kick ass when he played Roddick in the 3rd round of the US Open. He's on my radar of dudes I want to see succeed. Hoping for a top 30 finish for him, and to mess around in Rome if I ever get a transatlantic phone call to do so, bro.
9. Benoit Paire/Jeremy Chardy- Not even trying to do any research on 2 faceless French guys. These 2 both had huge rises in 2012 and are able bodied and capable of continuing upward in 2013. Mainly Chardy. Frog legs and tennis, thats what France does.
10. Donald Young- Categorically speaking, when your season record is 5-24 and you lose 17 matches in a row, you can't go anywhere but up. D. Young did drop 151 places in the rankings since March, he does still play under the toxic influence of his mom and dad. He does have confidence issues. He did prove to regress in his physical conditioning in 2012.
Those are the negatives, on the positive, D. Young has a very good looping forehand that he has the ability to spray the court with. His serve and backhand are good enough to set up his forehand when he is confident enough to play those shots. In 2011 he made a run into the round of 16 at the US Open. He did it by methodically setting up points like a boxer, he counter punched but never went full defensive, he took his time and set up winners. He can hit around you, over you, or through you.
He needs a change of regime. When he gets it, he is a top 40 type of player capable of making runs deep into tournaments.
That's all I got. Though I am not a journalist, I sometimes indulge in some journalistic tendencies. Tune in tomorrow for 10 bros on tour I do NOT expect to be ranked as high in 2013 as they were in 2012.
Follow me on twitter @thetennisbro
Laying 50 on red is a mistake, bros, just low ball your bets on the roulette table.
Gin Gin
Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro
For all of my close friends who are wanting some sort of elaborate laugh riot of an account of my trip to Las Vegas, let's use our phones instead.
EARTH LAW: What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas; says every person ever when you tell them you are going to or went to Las Vegas.
Las Vegas did, however, enlighten me to the fact that there are NO good places to grab a slice of Pizza in Jackson; sorry Sbarros.
I am shifting my attention towards the coming ATP World Tour season. Just like the respawn of any sport, it offers promise. The Djoker hasn't yet won the Aussie, Rafa hasn't yet won the French, the baselines haven't been rubbed raw at Wimby and the Americans haven't all been eliminated in the first week of the US Open. Just kidding we always make the quarters before getting our gizzards ripped out by the rest of the world.
I declared last season the Year of the Dolg expecting Novak BROkovic to fall off the top of the pedestal and Alexandr BROgopolov to make his entry into the sport's top 10. This did not happen. Dolgo peaked at 13 and Nole never fell below number 2. This bold prediction of mine was wrong for the following:
-Dolgo started the year by losing to the eventual Cinderella man of the sport, Andy Murray in the Brisbane final. He then lost to the hometown blue blood Bernard Tomic in the 3rd round of the Aussie Open. The 3rd Round would be his best finish at a major in 2012. Nowhere to go but up from here.
-Novak Djokovic is really the Apex Predator of the ATP World Tour right now. I say this about once every 3 posts on here, but the dude really is the Randy Orton of Professional Tennis. When you think about Novak Djokovic, you have to consider the cover-all court movement, the flexibility of a gymnast, the ability to hit a winner with all shots from anywhere in the court, the best backhand of all time (like Randy's RKO being the best finisher of all time) and Jelena Ristic. I wouldn't mind having her cheer for all of my Rec League matches right?
Moving forward with the new season, I have a list of 10 bros who I think will be ranked higher at the end of 2013 then they were at the end of 2012.
Ready. Set. BRO.
1. Bernard Tomic- Ok let's just get this one out of the way. Yes he has run into some trouble with the law, and he also probably threw the match against Roddick in the Open last year; we all wanted him to win but a little effort would not have killed you, bro beans. Bernie, right now, is the badass the tennis community deserves and the one it desperately needs right now. A sport full of nice rich boys is boring to folks that don't respect the game. Tennis needs a McEnroe figure back in the fold to stir stuff up. Once he drops the parental supervision on the practice court, his inner Bon Jovi can fly.
Tomic is still a budding super star. He stands 6'5", he is 200 pounds, his strokes are real clean and he has a ton of swagger on court; when he's mentally in it. I still find it hard to believe a 20 year old from a country as rooted in tennis success as Australia would have a seamless rise to the top when he can't even drink legally in the nation that boasts the most tournaments of his best playing surface.
Bernie is the kind of up and comer that would make Billy Beane's scouting table go gaga over. He is a face guy, he possesses a strong back court game, and his serve is mighty. People have not forgotten that at 19 years old he made the Wimbledon quarterfinals as an unseeded competitor. He has all the tools to be a hard court and grass force, but he has to get over the hump. A strong showing in Brisbane will prove that his shortcomings with the law don't bother him. If he makes a run in Melbourne, he can take some serious mo' with him to Indian Wells and Miami.
Best of luck bro. See you back in the top 30 at year's end.
2. Juan Martin Del Potro- Del BROtro, the Tower of Tandil, Mr. Nice Guy, Champ; all great nicknames, all apply to the current Number 7 ranked player on tour.
Del Bro was sidelined for most of 2010 having had wrist surgery. It took most of 2011 for him to return to form and he really came back into his own during the late summer months in 2012. His most notable match, unfortunately, was retiring American Legend Andy Roddick in the round of 16 at the US Open. A great match, well played on a very windy day and the spotlight was on the man opposite the net; though totally deserved for an incredible career and total bro lifestyle.
Given his size and quick hands, I fully expect Del BROtro to stay put in the top 10. He is perpetually one of the most dangerous men on a hard court when in shape. He has made it to the semis at the French before and won the US Open in '09.
I'm a sucker for the 24 going on 45 look, so I'm pulling for this dude to get into the top 5 and stay put by Year's end.
3. Alexandr Dolgopolov- As you already know, I declared 2012 the Year of the Dolg. That didn't necessarily come true as I was hoping. I was under the impression a top 10 finish seemed within reach. A top 20 finish is still something of merit for a 24 year old with many years left in his career.
We are now in Australia for the next month of the season, this is BROgopolov's time. He always brings his best to the hard courts down under. He has ultra fast hands, he covers the court like 8/10 of a Roger Federer; that's a compliment, and looks eerily similar to his coach Jack Reader; its like they planned it.
Besides having the best backhanded slice ever of all time; you read that right, look for more forehand winners from the Dolg. He gets his opponents out of sort and pounces like a chess player setting the king up for slaughter. I expect quarter final runs in Melbourne and at the Open this year and with at least a handful of guys ahead of him probably tumbling in the rankings, he could be close to an elusive top 10 finish in 2013.
4. Milos Raonic- I don't know if I like Raonic because he's Canadian and doesn't play hockey; a rarity up nort' donchaknow? It may actually be that he's Montenegrin-born and I have seen Casino Royale enough times to have it memorized. Its actually probably him constantly making his coach, Galo Blanco, do push ups during practice and then taking pictures of it and posting them on his twitter. Whatever the case, I am a fan of this guy.
Raonic is probably the proverbial prom queen on this list. Of all players on the outside of the top 10 looking in, I would say he stands the best chance of making an upward move as soon as January.
I've seen him top 150 with a serve before, all braun, all bro. His forehand leaves plenty for a tennis bro to be impressed with. Raonic also has the love of a massive country. The only love because no matter what his accomplishments may be, people don't know who Daniel Nestor is. He does have the Biebs to compete with for total super stardom in Canada, but I foresee a future Wimbledon Champion. It would do the sport a lot of good for him and Bernard Tomic to become a mainstay rivalry. Like a classic good cop/bad cop kind of thing.
My only advice to you bro, cut your hair, the NHL ain't happenin' and we don't need any hockey mullets serving as a constant reminder that a 2nd rate sport is on strike.
5. Jerzy Janowicz- Let's talk about being to BROtal Package for a minute. Jerzy Janowicz strolls into a bar, all 6'8" of him, he starts talking broken english with his polish accent, orders up some sausage and sour kraut, tells us all the story about how he beat Andy Murray in a match; the ladies go CRAZY.
Janowicz, to me, where body types are concerned, is like a right-handed Goran Ivanisevic. I don't think he actually serve and volleys; a lost art form, but he does have the frame that makes me believe he could have some serious results if his confidence and strokes continue to improve each week. He beat Murray in France using a LOT of backhanded slice drop shots to the deuce court; classic Tennis Bro Maneuver.
This guy, to me, has the look of a future Wimbledon Champion in the coming years. He's 22, moves the court well, and hits screamers. A top 15 finish seems legit to me for the ol' Jerzy.
6. Martin Klizan- You probably only know this guy as the no-namer who made a run into the round of 16 at the US Open. And that's ok because that's about all I know him for too. Martin Klizan, for everyone's information, is from Bratislava and according to his ATP World Tour page, fluent in like 45604654307650 different languages which a seriously rad tennis bro thing to do. He won 4 titles last year and considers himself a clay courter. Meaning lots and lots of success is imminent since no one does that anymore. He's ranked number 30 right now, but he could sneak into the top 20 if he plays loosely.
7. Jack Sock- This burrito stuffing, forehand smashing, reporter ignoring, lady slaying super star in the making is going to be the toast of the United States by year's end. He is still a ways off from hoisting a US Open Trophy, but I am inclined to believe that he'll beat Ryan Harrison to the punch of making a run at a major. And he'll do it the good old fashion American way, eating fried chicken and playing electric guitar solos from the song Kashmir by led zep'. That's a joke, but Mr. Sock is becoming an increasing threat to the rest of the tour the longer he stays healthy. He could break into the top 50 if he stays healthy and plays 25 tournaments or so this year.
8. Fabio Fognini- just kidding, this is him. Looky here bros, I don't know if this guy is actually going to rise up or not, I just know he's a pretty rad individual. I watched him serve out a match with cramps or something so bad he couldn't jump into his serve and he still finished. He has the Italian Warrior spirit; that's a joke, but it really happened. He also was joking around being really kick ass when he played Roddick in the 3rd round of the US Open. He's on my radar of dudes I want to see succeed. Hoping for a top 30 finish for him, and to mess around in Rome if I ever get a transatlantic phone call to do so, bro.
9. Benoit Paire/Jeremy Chardy- Not even trying to do any research on 2 faceless French guys. These 2 both had huge rises in 2012 and are able bodied and capable of continuing upward in 2013. Mainly Chardy. Frog legs and tennis, thats what France does.
10. Donald Young- Categorically speaking, when your season record is 5-24 and you lose 17 matches in a row, you can't go anywhere but up. D. Young did drop 151 places in the rankings since March, he does still play under the toxic influence of his mom and dad. He does have confidence issues. He did prove to regress in his physical conditioning in 2012.
Those are the negatives, on the positive, D. Young has a very good looping forehand that he has the ability to spray the court with. His serve and backhand are good enough to set up his forehand when he is confident enough to play those shots. In 2011 he made a run into the round of 16 at the US Open. He did it by methodically setting up points like a boxer, he counter punched but never went full defensive, he took his time and set up winners. He can hit around you, over you, or through you.
He needs a change of regime. When he gets it, he is a top 40 type of player capable of making runs deep into tournaments.
That's all I got. Though I am not a journalist, I sometimes indulge in some journalistic tendencies. Tune in tomorrow for 10 bros on tour I do NOT expect to be ranked as high in 2013 as they were in 2012.
Follow me on twitter @thetennisbro
Laying 50 on red is a mistake, bros, just low ball your bets on the roulette table.
Gin Gin
Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro
Wednesday, December 12, 2012
The Streak
Flags at half mass bros,
On December 8th, 2012 I suffered a loss. A crippling defeat from which it will take several years and lots of money to reprise. That faithful morning last Saturday, a sequence longer than DiMaggio's hit streak, but shorter than Fed's US Open run, came to a screeching demise.
After 3 years and 7 months, my streak, coined "The Streak" by me, came to an end. I had my first hangover since the night before my older brother Dan (@2finestein) graduated from college. May 16, 2009.
The streak carried with it, a special power, an aura, which cast mystical awesomeness around myself, and everyone who surrounded me. There were times during this speech, when I wanted to run through banners that paid homage to my awesomeness. I actually have used this as motivational speeches before; some times at parties, some times not. There were times I thought it was divine intervention, a certain assertion from above. This was a means to atone for not being very tall, handsome, or smooth with the ladies. I even once though America was going to win a gold medal in Hockey (2010 Vancouver Games) to which I still say f%*& you Sindey Crosby. My streak was like the ring in the lord of the ring films; that probably isn't a fair comparison being that I've never seen any of those movies.
To put this in terms our tennis playing fans can understand. My abusive binge drinking habits I engaged in most, if not all, weekend nights during the run I was on, was kind of like hitting a terrible a drop shot a bunch of times in a match against a weak opponent. This opponent appears weak on the surface, beats you common baseline pounder, probably isn't as charismatic as you, definitely brings a full on cooler to every match. This is poison to your average player. But when playing against your short-court game, the opponent is crippled. He/she doesn't hit passing shots when you follow your awful forehand slice in. This bro is feeding the beast, and the beast is s*&%ing volleys and smashes away constantly to the tune of a 1000 day + kind of 6-0, 6-1 winning streak.
Here's how it went down. Friday night was a combination of the following: Tacky Christmas party slash end of my friends finals slash night before a wedding kind of reunion. The triple threat.
Now Billy boy engaged himself in having a few to drink. If I remember correctly, more butter scotch shots than any man should ever want to drink ever, prior to playing 3 to 5 games of beer pong.
SIDE NOTE: Beer pong is kind of like the tennis bro/basketball bro/golf bro Mt. Olympus of abusive drinking games.
I also lost several games of flip cup, one of which a bro with elf ears on handed me some mystery punch one can only assumed was laced with the date rape drug.
Once at the bar the memory bank went completely blank.
That's how you make a long story you don't remember not very long.
Now to the painful part
So I wake up Saturday morning with the intention of fighting the noble battle of next day victory I've won every day for the last 43 months. This is an unfamiliar feeling; how badass is it that his varsity jacket is an M for Michael?
My head felt like Nick Cannon's snare during the BET Big Southern Classic #Drumline. My stomach was feeling every bit like the IMDB Rating for Major League 3. Worst part about it was that no advil was available my general area, that sh&^ ain't right. I had to cope with my foul bodily reaction to too much alcohol and 4 McDonalds Double Cheeseburgers that I consumed some time after bar hour #tennisbro.
It was around 10 am while watching an episode of Tom and Jerry that it all came full circle. I was hungover and past the stage of denial. A few times during the streak I woke up with a small headache or felt like I had something that made my stomach tickle. But they always went away by having an advil or eating something unhealthy; a dietary staple of mine.
This time, it was real. I couldn't even enjoy watching Tom and Jerry; before Rocket Power but after Rugrats on my all time list of 'toons. Through all losses come moral victories, this time it gave me a chance to kill boredom at work by looking back at how the world was the morning of my last hangover, before my 43 month streak. So here you go.
Ready. Set. BRO.
-MineThatBird won the Kentucky Derby as a 50-1 long shot.
-Jersey Shore and Teen Mom didn't exist yet; I weep.
-Top Song on the Charts was Waking Up in Vegas by Katie Perry; which is still a badass jam.
-Swine Flu was gaining mo' as an epidemic.
-Star Trek came out that night and topped the box office.
-Bieber Fever wasn't a thing yet
-memes and gifs were not the ONLY thing people posted on facebook newsfeeds when not gloating about their significant others or upset at the world.
-Rafael Nadal had NEVER lost a match at the French Open before that point. 28 straight wins, 4 titles in a row, lost in that '09 installment. He hasn't dropped one since.
-Lindsay Lohan had really only f'd up her face with cosmetic surgery at that point. She also heisted Diamonds from a photo shoot.
-The average gallon of gas was $2.25.
-No one knew who Cam Newton was.
-The dubstep revolution hadn't taken off yet.
-My mom's favorite show Glee wasn't around yet.
Then the epic heater went down and the tennis boy of the days of old become the tennis bro of today. New streak count: 4 days.
Gin Gin
Billy Stein~ The Tennis Bro
Jackson, Mississippi's Most Eligible Sexiest Man Alive
On December 8th, 2012 I suffered a loss. A crippling defeat from which it will take several years and lots of money to reprise. That faithful morning last Saturday, a sequence longer than DiMaggio's hit streak, but shorter than Fed's US Open run, came to a screeching demise.
After 3 years and 7 months, my streak, coined "The Streak" by me, came to an end. I had my first hangover since the night before my older brother Dan (@2finestein) graduated from college. May 16, 2009.
The streak carried with it, a special power, an aura, which cast mystical awesomeness around myself, and everyone who surrounded me. There were times during this speech, when I wanted to run through banners that paid homage to my awesomeness. I actually have used this as motivational speeches before; some times at parties, some times not. There were times I thought it was divine intervention, a certain assertion from above. This was a means to atone for not being very tall, handsome, or smooth with the ladies. I even once though America was going to win a gold medal in Hockey (2010 Vancouver Games) to which I still say f%*& you Sindey Crosby. My streak was like the ring in the lord of the ring films; that probably isn't a fair comparison being that I've never seen any of those movies.
To put this in terms our tennis playing fans can understand. My abusive binge drinking habits I engaged in most, if not all, weekend nights during the run I was on, was kind of like hitting a terrible a drop shot a bunch of times in a match against a weak opponent. This opponent appears weak on the surface, beats you common baseline pounder, probably isn't as charismatic as you, definitely brings a full on cooler to every match. This is poison to your average player. But when playing against your short-court game, the opponent is crippled. He/she doesn't hit passing shots when you follow your awful forehand slice in. This bro is feeding the beast, and the beast is s*&%ing volleys and smashes away constantly to the tune of a 1000 day + kind of 6-0, 6-1 winning streak.
Here's how it went down. Friday night was a combination of the following: Tacky Christmas party slash end of my friends finals slash night before a wedding kind of reunion. The triple threat.
Now Billy boy engaged himself in having a few to drink. If I remember correctly, more butter scotch shots than any man should ever want to drink ever, prior to playing 3 to 5 games of beer pong.
SIDE NOTE: Beer pong is kind of like the tennis bro/basketball bro/golf bro Mt. Olympus of abusive drinking games.
I also lost several games of flip cup, one of which a bro with elf ears on handed me some mystery punch one can only assumed was laced with the date rape drug.
Once at the bar the memory bank went completely blank.
That's how you make a long story you don't remember not very long.
Now to the painful part
So I wake up Saturday morning with the intention of fighting the noble battle of next day victory I've won every day for the last 43 months. This is an unfamiliar feeling; how badass is it that his varsity jacket is an M for Michael?
My head felt like Nick Cannon's snare during the BET Big Southern Classic #Drumline. My stomach was feeling every bit like the IMDB Rating for Major League 3. Worst part about it was that no advil was available my general area, that sh&^ ain't right. I had to cope with my foul bodily reaction to too much alcohol and 4 McDonalds Double Cheeseburgers that I consumed some time after bar hour #tennisbro.
It was around 10 am while watching an episode of Tom and Jerry that it all came full circle. I was hungover and past the stage of denial. A few times during the streak I woke up with a small headache or felt like I had something that made my stomach tickle. But they always went away by having an advil or eating something unhealthy; a dietary staple of mine.
This time, it was real. I couldn't even enjoy watching Tom and Jerry; before Rocket Power but after Rugrats on my all time list of 'toons. Through all losses come moral victories, this time it gave me a chance to kill boredom at work by looking back at how the world was the morning of my last hangover, before my 43 month streak. So here you go.
Ready. Set. BRO.
-MineThatBird won the Kentucky Derby as a 50-1 long shot.
-Jersey Shore and Teen Mom didn't exist yet; I weep.
-Top Song on the Charts was Waking Up in Vegas by Katie Perry; which is still a badass jam.
-Swine Flu was gaining mo' as an epidemic.
-Star Trek came out that night and topped the box office.
-Bieber Fever wasn't a thing yet
-memes and gifs were not the ONLY thing people posted on facebook newsfeeds when not gloating about their significant others or upset at the world.
-Rafael Nadal had NEVER lost a match at the French Open before that point. 28 straight wins, 4 titles in a row, lost in that '09 installment. He hasn't dropped one since.
-Lindsay Lohan had really only f'd up her face with cosmetic surgery at that point. She also heisted Diamonds from a photo shoot.
-The average gallon of gas was $2.25.
-No one knew who Cam Newton was.
-The dubstep revolution hadn't taken off yet.
-My mom's favorite show Glee wasn't around yet.
Then the epic heater went down and the tennis boy of the days of old become the tennis bro of today. New streak count: 4 days.
Gin Gin
Billy Stein~ The Tennis Bro
Jackson, Mississippi's Most Eligible Sexiest Man Alive
Saturday, December 1, 2012
Jackson's Most Eligible Bachelor
Howdy do everybody,
I went back to my mom and dad's house in Florida a few weeks ago for dad-bro's 55th birthday. It was at this time I noticed a People magazine on my mom's coffee table. On the cover was Channing Tatum and the text read 'Sexiest Man Alive.'
I'm not one to argue, he was in a GI Joe movie; I don't care if they were a complete basardization of all the American heroes of my childhood once stood for. He also did a movie where he totally hooked up with Amanda Bynes while it was still cool. Channing Tatum, or CT for short, is definitely probably deserving of that award, girls are still talking about some movie he made called Magic Mike.
Here in the 601, just being 23 and not yet married has to put me on some sort of short list for most eligible bachelors around. But I have to consider my most immediate competition, the 2 other bros in my office. They're both older than me and senior in rank; that's key for they make more money than me and are older so they're way more stable then this mystery man. Where they dwarf me in those 2 categories, I far exceed them EVERYWHERE else. So ladies of the Jackson metro area, I'd like to formally throw my hat in the ring and be your most eligible bachelor and sexiest man alive.
I have my most eligible bachelor resume all set here and ready for you below. It's broken into what I believe are the most important categories a sexiest man alive should have.
Ready. Set. Sexiest man alive BRO.
HOLLYWOOD LOOK
Based on what the other guy that uses my office that we "share" at work says, if I'm not the sexiest most eligible bachelor in the Tri-County Area, I'm definitely the number 1 Rob Kardashian look-alike in town. Minus the hair gel and tats. I've also been told I am quite the Michael Rady impersonator. For those that don't know he on the show The Mentalist. He was also Kostas in the Sisterhood of the traveling yaya pants. So basically I have the tall dark and handsome thing down; Very much a must have for any tri-county Most Eligible Bachelor types. I am also starting to believe people could mention anyone with a tan ever and I could be directly compared to that person. Could be wrong.
PHILANTHROPIC SOFT SIDE
I feed the neighborhood stray cats all the time, bro.
SUPER ATHLETIC
I can juggle 3 balls. I once ran from the Oxford Square back to the ATO house in a rain storm having consumed multiple adult beverages, and DIDN'T throw up. Hit 3 inside the park home runs last softball season; 'nuff said.
IDEAS GUY
I'm all over this one idea, get this: A gallon jar that is equal parts peanut butter, jelly, nutella and marshmallow, all in one. Has the idea of the perfect sammich blown your mind yet? Or if that doesn't do it for you:
A massaging chair that is a whole couch. No matter what position your in, that son of a gun is going to massage you. Sharper Image, get me paid.
THE DARK SIDE
Some times I even pull a serious face. Like when I stub my toes, or fall down the steps in my apartment and shatter a glass candle along way. Clumsiness, definitely an appealing trait in the sexiest man in the tri-county area, reminds the masses I am a human that puts my pants on 1 leg at a time. Though my true darkness will not be seen until WWE brings back the cruiserweight division and the boy from Madison County is going top rope on some chump #BlackMamba.
SEX SYMBOL BODY
The results of my double days spent inside Planet Fitness: Picture AC Slater condensed down onto The Hobbit's size. But way less back hair. Sexy right?
LIFE OF LUXURY
Major vacay time coming up in Las Vegas, probably a Prince Harry type of week. Then New Orleans on New Years, Mardi Gras warm up. Lastly something exotic for Spring Break, I'm thinking the place where the music video for Big Pimpin' was shot.
When not being the total package, I also sit around tables with my cohorts and discuss 401K plans and refinancing on home loans... Because it doesn't hurt to be educated, my friends. That's what grown ups do.
I assume now my phone and email will blow up with single ladies wanting to hubby me down. This day had to come at some point.
Check me out on twitter, ladies @thetennisbro
Gin Gin
Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro
I went back to my mom and dad's house in Florida a few weeks ago for dad-bro's 55th birthday. It was at this time I noticed a People magazine on my mom's coffee table. On the cover was Channing Tatum and the text read 'Sexiest Man Alive.'
I'm not one to argue, he was in a GI Joe movie; I don't care if they were a complete basardization of all the American heroes of my childhood once stood for. He also did a movie where he totally hooked up with Amanda Bynes while it was still cool. Channing Tatum, or CT for short, is definitely probably deserving of that award, girls are still talking about some movie he made called Magic Mike.
Here in the 601, just being 23 and not yet married has to put me on some sort of short list for most eligible bachelors around. But I have to consider my most immediate competition, the 2 other bros in my office. They're both older than me and senior in rank; that's key for they make more money than me and are older so they're way more stable then this mystery man. Where they dwarf me in those 2 categories, I far exceed them EVERYWHERE else. So ladies of the Jackson metro area, I'd like to formally throw my hat in the ring and be your most eligible bachelor and sexiest man alive.
I have my most eligible bachelor resume all set here and ready for you below. It's broken into what I believe are the most important categories a sexiest man alive should have.
Ready. Set. Sexiest man alive BRO.
HOLLYWOOD LOOK
Based on what the other guy that uses my office that we "share" at work says, if I'm not the sexiest most eligible bachelor in the Tri-County Area, I'm definitely the number 1 Rob Kardashian look-alike in town. Minus the hair gel and tats. I've also been told I am quite the Michael Rady impersonator. For those that don't know he on the show The Mentalist. He was also Kostas in the Sisterhood of the traveling yaya pants. So basically I have the tall dark and handsome thing down; Very much a must have for any tri-county Most Eligible Bachelor types. I am also starting to believe people could mention anyone with a tan ever and I could be directly compared to that person. Could be wrong.
PHILANTHROPIC SOFT SIDE
I feed the neighborhood stray cats all the time, bro.
SUPER ATHLETIC
I can juggle 3 balls. I once ran from the Oxford Square back to the ATO house in a rain storm having consumed multiple adult beverages, and DIDN'T throw up. Hit 3 inside the park home runs last softball season; 'nuff said.
IDEAS GUY
I'm all over this one idea, get this: A gallon jar that is equal parts peanut butter, jelly, nutella and marshmallow, all in one. Has the idea of the perfect sammich blown your mind yet? Or if that doesn't do it for you:
A massaging chair that is a whole couch. No matter what position your in, that son of a gun is going to massage you. Sharper Image, get me paid.
THE DARK SIDE
Some times I even pull a serious face. Like when I stub my toes, or fall down the steps in my apartment and shatter a glass candle along way. Clumsiness, definitely an appealing trait in the sexiest man in the tri-county area, reminds the masses I am a human that puts my pants on 1 leg at a time. Though my true darkness will not be seen until WWE brings back the cruiserweight division and the boy from Madison County is going top rope on some chump #BlackMamba.
SEX SYMBOL BODY
The results of my double days spent inside Planet Fitness: Picture AC Slater condensed down onto The Hobbit's size. But way less back hair. Sexy right?
LIFE OF LUXURY
Major vacay time coming up in Las Vegas, probably a Prince Harry type of week. Then New Orleans on New Years, Mardi Gras warm up. Lastly something exotic for Spring Break, I'm thinking the place where the music video for Big Pimpin' was shot.
When not being the total package, I also sit around tables with my cohorts and discuss 401K plans and refinancing on home loans... Because it doesn't hurt to be educated, my friends. That's what grown ups do.
I assume now my phone and email will blow up with single ladies wanting to hubby me down. This day had to come at some point.
Check me out on twitter, ladies @thetennisbro
Gin Gin
Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro
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