The Streak

Flags at half mass bros,

On December 8th, 2012 I suffered a loss. A crippling defeat from which it will take several years and lots of money to reprise. That faithful morning last Saturday, a sequence longer than DiMaggio's hit streak, but shorter than Fed's US Open run, came to a screeching demise.

After 3 years and 7 months, my streak, coined "The Streak" by me, came to an end. I had my first hangover since the night before my older brother Dan (@2finestein) graduated from college. May 16, 2009.

The streak carried with it, a special power, an aura, which cast mystical awesomeness around myself, and everyone who surrounded me. There were times during this speech, when I wanted to run through banners that paid homage to my awesomeness. I actually have used this as motivational speeches before; some times at parties, some times not. There were times I thought it was divine intervention, a certain assertion from above. This was a means to atone for not being very tall, handsome, or smooth with the ladies. I even once though America was going to win a gold medal in Hockey (2010 Vancouver Games) to which I still say f%*& you Sindey Crosby. My streak was like the ring in the lord of the ring films; that probably isn't a fair comparison being that I've never seen any of those movies.

To put this in terms our tennis playing fans can understand. My abusive binge drinking habits I engaged in most, if not all, weekend nights during the run I was on, was kind of like hitting a terrible a drop shot a bunch of times in a match against a weak opponent. This opponent appears weak on the surface, beats you common baseline pounder, probably isn't as charismatic as you, definitely brings a full on cooler to every match. This is poison to your average player. But when playing against your short-court game, the opponent is crippled. He/she doesn't hit passing shots when you follow your awful forehand slice in. This bro is feeding the beast, and the beast is s*&%ing volleys and smashes away constantly to the tune of a 1000 day + kind of 6-0, 6-1 winning streak.

Here's how it went down. Friday night was a combination of the following: Tacky Christmas party slash end of my friends finals slash night before a wedding kind of reunion. The triple threat.

Now Billy boy engaged himself in having a few to drink. If I remember correctly, more butter scotch shots than any man should ever want to drink ever, prior to playing 3 to 5 games of beer pong.

SIDE NOTE: Beer pong is kind of like the tennis bro/basketball bro/golf bro Mt. Olympus of abusive drinking games.

I also lost several games of flip cup, one of which a bro with elf ears on handed me some mystery punch one can only assumed was laced with the date rape drug.

Once at the bar the memory bank went completely blank.

That's how you make a long story you don't remember not very long.

Now to the painful part

So I wake up Saturday morning with the intention of fighting the noble battle of next day victory I've won every day for the last 43 months. This is an unfamiliar feeling; how badass is it that his varsity jacket is an M for Michael?

My head felt like Nick Cannon's snare during the BET Big Southern Classic #Drumline. My stomach was feeling every bit like the IMDB Rating for Major League 3. Worst part about it was that no advil was available my general area, that sh&^ ain't right. I had to cope with my foul bodily reaction to too much alcohol and 4 McDonalds Double Cheeseburgers that I consumed some time after bar hour #tennisbro.

It was around 10 am while watching an episode of Tom and Jerry that it all came full circle. I was hungover and past the stage of denial. A few times during the streak I woke up with a small headache or felt like I had something that made my stomach tickle. But they always went away by having an advil or eating something unhealthy; a dietary staple of mine.

This time, it was real. I couldn't even enjoy watching Tom and Jerry; before Rocket Power but after Rugrats on my all time list of 'toons. Through all losses come moral victories, this time it gave me a chance to kill boredom at work by looking back at how the world was the morning of my last hangover, before my 43 month streak. So here you go.

Ready. Set. BRO.

-MineThatBird won the Kentucky Derby as a 50-1 long shot.
-Jersey Shore and Teen Mom didn't exist yet; I weep.
-Top Song on the Charts was Waking Up in Vegas by Katie Perry; which is still a badass jam.
-Swine Flu was gaining mo' as an epidemic.
-Star Trek came out that night and topped the box office.
-Bieber Fever wasn't a thing yet
-memes and gifs were not the ONLY thing people posted on facebook newsfeeds when not gloating about their significant others or upset at the world.
-Rafael Nadal had NEVER lost a match at the French Open before that point. 28 straight wins, 4 titles in a row, lost in that '09 installment. He hasn't dropped one since.
-Lindsay Lohan had really only f'd up her face with cosmetic surgery at that point. She also heisted Diamonds from a photo shoot.
-The average gallon of gas was $2.25.
-No one knew who Cam Newton was.
-The dubstep revolution hadn't taken off yet.
-My mom's favorite show Glee wasn't around yet.

Then the epic heater went down and the tennis boy of the days of old become the tennis bro of today. New streak count: 4 days.

Gin Gin

Billy Stein~ The Tennis Bro

Jackson, Mississippi's Most Eligible Sexiest Man Alive