Davis Cup Final 2012

How's it going bros?

I found it very hard to think of a clever addendum to the title, so let's just skip it. This weekend is the Davis Cup Final. The last professional team tennis clash of the year. Also the end to another season of a global competition the world barely knows about.

On the one hand you have the Czech Republic, their last victory in this event came at a time they were still Czechoslovakia; Lendl didn't smile back then either. On the other you have Spain, the Alabama Crimson Tide of professional tennis.

I typically don't indulge in getting super analytic, but this one is too easy; and I'm sure the tennis world wouldn't mind a few more folks actually knowing what the Davis Cup is.

I do not see this as much of a competition. The Czechs are intending to use a fast court as a means to deter the Spanish who will be playing without Rafael Nadal; whose knees are beginning to remind me the empty, dried up dirt lots next to our house in South Texas. Not a pretty scene. The speed of the court does not matter, ladies and gents. Just because the Spanish train on red clay does not mean they are feeble on the tough stuff. When you consider the potential 2 on 5 match up that could be created in this one, the Vegas odds on the Czechs will be slimmer then Lindsay Lohan after her latest coke bender.

Here is the likely match up and the bro-diction for how I see this weekend shaking out.

Ready. Set. BRO.

1st Rubber:
Tomas Berdych (CR) vs. Nicolas almagro (ESP)

Number 6 Berdy Man vs. the 11th ranked Nico Almagro. Berdych hits a massive serve with an above status quo forehand. He is dangerous as an Arkansas fan who just found out Honey Boo Boo is between seasons; no lifestyle coaching tonight. However, despite all of this, I only feel like Berdych sustains a high ranking due to major success in tournaments against slim competition. He beat Federer... like 3 years ago.

Nico Almagro is subtly one of the most efficient servers in the sport. He is always top 5 in both 1st serve % and aces. His one-handed backhand looks cool if it isn't effective. He also looks more like the guy who played David DeCoco in Inglorious Basterds.

Total toss up. These 2 are pretty evenly matched. Advantage to Almagro. Berdych doesn't ever really seem to live up to the bill when he is hyped up.

Espana 1-0

2nd Rubber
David Ferrer (ESP) vs. Radek Stepanek

The number 5 player in the world, Ferrer, vs. the most likely seeded opponent to lose 1st round of every single major draw you ever pick him to succeed in. It isn't 2006 anymore, Stepanek may be able to steel the first set, but once the mini-beast gets in his zone, the grind he'll go on will resemble Maximus in Gladiator; always does.

Espana 2-0

3rd Rubber
Stepanek/Berdych (CR) vs. Lopez/Granollers (Esp)

The Czechs are now possibly down 2 rubbers to 0 at this point. Two guys that lost the day before now have to get it back together against the team that won another totally unknown tournament, the Year End Championship, last week. Stepanek is still a great doubles player; if and only if he is playing with his partner Leander Paes. He and Berdy man do not, repeat, do not have the chemistry to knock off a confident Spanish tandem that can see the finish line.

Espana 3-0

Clean shut out for the spanish. Now assuming I am wrong, here is what the 4th rubber would feature.

4th Rubber
David Ferrer vs. Tomas Berdych

A rested Ferrer on a hard court against Berdy man playing his 3rd match in 3 days. Let's just pretend Alex Corretja wasn't confident enough in the 5th best player in the world for a second, then Feliciano Lopez will be in Prague too. He is 4-3 lifetime against the big man.

Spain wins again.

5th Rubber
Radek Stepanek vs. Nico Almagro

This is a dead rubber by this point that will likely go unplayed; making up words now. Even if the 2 squared off, 185 year old Radek Stepanek isn't going to have the weapons or the stamina to hold off Almagro for 3 sets. This could be reminiscent of the Spanish Teams 5-0 win over the Czechs in 2009.

To save you the time, or emotional commitment, might I recommend you watch college football this weekend? This match up is taking the autobahn to Ass Kick City.

Of course if this doesn't turn out to be right, I'm going to look like a real schmuck.

Follow me on twitter @thetennisbro

Another productive travel weekend, going to Miami for my dad's 55th birthday. Hopefully something cool will happen.