How's it hanging bros?
A steady appetite of Miami Vice episodes and refilling the water in golf's momma's dish has me all tingly inside #Tennisbro. So fired up that I am going to put America's Davis Cup blunder behind me and talk about tennis' ultimate BROhort in the wolfpack, Lacrosse.
It is important when discussing lacrosse you remember 2 very important things:
1. the 'pack doesn't even call it "lacrosse", it is automatically referred to as Lax Bro.
2. You, yourself, may not be involved in Lax Bro's persuasion, but dammit you gotta respect it.
Lax Bro is a rare breed. During Lax's age in the covenant 18-24 demographic, you won't find any member of the wolfpack more dedicated to the craft. For whatever reason, Lax has like a 99.8% participation at the collegiate level. Never seen a club sport be taken so seriously, and for that matter, not take itself so seriously; looking at you hockey bros.
SIDE NOTE: Hockey is Canadian Lacrosse that serves 1 cool purpose, the USA Winter Olympic team. Period. Glad we cleared that up.
This is a pretty kick ass character trait. Lax Bro don't play. Once the glory days of playing are over, Lax Bro hangs it up without shame and doesn't live so far back in the past as football.
Lax bro is the most likely member of the pack to look like the coke head, coward roommate in Green Street Hooligans. Lax Bro will ball so hard on the lax pitch and than promptly join some sort of Northeastern Yacht Club. You didn't think guys who dawn kickass names like Steele Stanwick or Colin Finnerty were going to get into the Oklahoma fracking persuasion, did you? Stupid question.
While in his prime, lax bro is always practicing his throw and catch, doing so in a pair of boat shoes; duh, gym shorts and a lax jersey. Minimum of 200 flips of his lax flow per day, bro.
Let's talk ethics for a second. Since Lax Bro is clearly the Mid Atlantic spokesman of the wolfpack, he conducts his self as the highest ambassador imaginable. Along with basketball and baseball, lax bro logs long hard hours on the xbox. He probably doesn't have a skoal ring in his jeans, but I'm not going to hold that against him. He also slays the ladies.
Its kind of a combination of reasons that lax bro takes out so many girls. He has cool hair, lots of old family money, enough stories about the luxurious lifestyle to make even Steven Hawking lose focus AND a bunch of friends that are just like him. This drives the ladies CRAZY. Not exactly the kinds of ladies I go for; or really anyone else in the 'pack either, but ladies nonetheless. This collective of ice queens are called "lacrossetitutes". Don't bother unless you're lax skills are outweighed by the mansion you're inheriting... Still not worse than golf's girlfriend.
All these solid traits combined with a bag full of f***s not being given, and lax bro is right up there with baseball as the apex bro of the pack. When you hear Weezy beats from a guy who appears to be having a seizure at the pong table; rest assure, those are just flips of the flow, bro, get it together. Lax Bro, bro is in full force making party happen.
A Bro Above All
Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro
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