The Injury

This is an official Statement from all of us here at the tennis bro; and by that I mean me, and maybe the guy I let share my office.

*Clears Throat*

Fine folks, it has been a tough couple of weeks trying to determine the proper course of action to take, but I must miss the entirety of the spring tennis season with a severely derped right shoulder. I do not know the root that stemmed this derp, but I do know that my tennis shoulder hurts more then at least 4/10 of these victims man parts do in the video I have provided below.

You're probably wondering how this happened, and I am thrilled to tell you. While playing with my boss a few weeks back; whose is twice my age and at least 50 times better then I am at tennis. I was chasing a wide serve in the deuce court. The courts were clay and I tried to do a kickass power slide #TennisBro. My right knee locked in place and I fell facefirst; full face plant. KABOOM. Ever since that epic super man derp moment I've been feeling a shooting pain in whatever scientific part of my body my shoulder is.

After consulting with people who know more about science then me, I have decided to take the next 3 months off and enter into a 12 week Recovery plan. This plan will allow me to recover from my injury and shrink the time lost as I try to chase my dream of being WWE Champ. I have a right shoulder to heal and 79 pounds to gain to make it to 240; an adequate playing weight for Wrestlemania.

I have a plan in place to work on size, endurance and awareness and I'm going to share it with you here:

Ready
Set
BRO

Week 1: Eat whatever I want. Play XBox trying to achieve maximum hunter credibility on Red Dead Redemption. Workout 6 days a week at gym using subtle techniques to familiarize myself with all babes in attendance.

Week 2: Eat Whatever I want. Challenge all those online using Harley Babeslayer and win s&*% loads of matches. Workout 6 days a week getting less focused on the task at hand and better at doing arm curls and smiling all coy like at the ladies of the gym.

Week 3: Eat Whatever I want. Get sick of Harley Babeslayer's crap and start a Miami Vice Marathon. Start going to the pool and focus on making my stomach look ripped while consuming copious amounts of beer; and not that light stuff either.

Week 4: Eat whatever I want; this seems elementary at this point. Try hitting tennis balls and feel noticeable pain in right shoulder has not improved at all. Watch James Bond Movies for motivation.

Week 5: Go to Oxford, MS for Ole Miss/Texas A&M baseball weekend. Eat crawfish, play upwards of 20 drinking games consuming the cheep stuff and don't workout a bit.

Week 6: Watch fight club, then rewatch it because I gave up paying attention after the first hour. Start grilling more food because the weather is awesome. Go to the gym and see what girls, if any, still go after spring break.

Week 7: I think kickballl season has started by then.

SIDE NOTE: Supposedly a large fan of mine, code name Dirty J, has a kickball team in Jackson. Kickball, more like kick ass. I love non traditional sports. Can I get a hallelujah?

Week 8: Give up on the 12 week plan and just start hitting tennis balls again out of sheer Jackson-induced boredom.

Week 9: WRESTLEMANIA MOFOS!!!!!!!

Week 10: Flat out give up on the schedule.

10/12 is 83%. I was always more of a B student anyway.

I do intend to come back at least 50% better for mixed doubles but way better at noticing details without looking like I do.

Until next time bros, all this not playing tennis should afford me lots more to blog about. Or not, we'll see.

Follow me on twitter @thetennisbro also subscribe to the Youtube Channel Bizaertker that I have began contributing to as a creative mind. Unfortunately not in the videos, but the next one he releases about the different kinds of fans will have many of tennis bro influences.

A bro above all

Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro