How's it going, bros?
In the spirit of March Madness and the Sweet 16, let's talk about the next member of best friends Wolfpack, basketball.
Football's natural rival in the group, basketball prides itself on being bigger then the other bros in the group. Rather then use its size as a tool; a definition that could be modified in several ways, basketball uses its extra body space to be friendlier and develop way more man crushes. Have you ever watched Dwight Howard and Lebron James shake hands at the end of a game?
Because basketball is so big and uses its size for forces of good instead of evil, football despises basketball. This is the only rivalry within the wolfpack that may actually bring out physical altercation. Sometimes we all call chairs "Top Turnbuckles" and jump off of them to elbow drop our sleeping friends that sought refuge in a sleeping back in a buddy's vacant guest bedroom #TennisBro. However, this is the only sort of rivalry that evokes MMA and other douche bag re-enactments with the intent of malice. Let's be real, this is all football's fault. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Basketball doesn't dress as well as the Lax Bro or the Golf Bro, but does have a sense of style. It's the only one in the group that can make hipster frames and sweater vests look cool, and what's more, it knows it.
When at the party, basketball may not be the very best at all drinking games, but definitely is a contender in all of them. This bro is probably not the anchor on the flip cup team or a quarters all star, but is an undefeatable, table-running, last-cup-knocking-down machine in beer pong.
While in social situations, basketball is the least reclusive member of the wolfpack. Very seldom does he stay within the group and discuss what happened on Monday Night RAW; even though he should. Basketball is going to approach ladies using cunning, understated slick moves and put on a show on the dance floor. Unlike the baseball and football bros, There is no blue jeans grinding on some stranger; this is all real dance moves.
Basketball is the best athlete in the group, hands down. He's the same size of, or bigger then the premiere football has to offer, and moves just as fast. Basketball plays at the speed of soccer bro with the precision of tennis. He's not as methodical as golf bro; the enemy of tennis, but he plays on the hardest surface there is for a full contact.
SIDE NOTE: It is full contact, despite a set of rules begrudging the idea of it. Football hates that refs call penalties for things like charges and moving picks. How could anyone not like to full retard?
This bro is most likely in the group to pull a girl that is just flat out way too small for him. Hard not be smaller then a basketball player, that much is a fact. But contrary to football who likes them starting at 5'7", basketball likes them around 5'2". Something about being 2 full feet taller then your partner, really does it for me. These girls may not be so quick on the gas to jump up on the bar and dance to Def Leopard music, but they will play pool basketball with you, and they will shoot from anywhere and rub it in your face when you don't play well.
In his down time he shops on finishline.com and watches The Dream Team like a thousand times. Basketball's bros consider him to be among the most stand up dudes in the wolfpack. Basketball's overall ability to be awesome and be a loyal dude gives him some tip top status in the wolfpack.
Next Time I will be discussing everyone's favorite bro in the group to pull pranks on football bro and golf douche. I am, of course, talking about baseball.
Follow me on twitter @TheTennisBro to talk basketball, March Madness or anything else kick ass.
A Bro Above All
Billy Stein ~ The Tennis Bro
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