Music Video Debut

How's it going bros?

My closest bros, and even some of best girl friends know I am a man of simple taste. I enjoy sports, both traditional and non-traditional. Rocking chairs and beers are the only true ways to watch a storm, and chess is the truest way to measure one's intelligence; sorry to all you s&*^ for brains that make 4.0's and can't tie your own shoes.

When I consider musicians, I stick to my guns; they're all more gifted than I am, so the least annoying to listen to is usually the way I pick favorites. I love folk music; bands like Carbon Leaf and Virginia Coalition were introduced to me by one of my best good friends, whose debt I will eternally be in for doing so. Folk music is often for the sake of the stories each song tells; like Taylor Swift, only some songs are about something other than hot girl falling for total meat cake and getting her heart broken.

My other favorite musician is NE-YO. My friend Elan was questioning my strange bias towards the man's music and this is how I explain it to you. When I was a junior in high school, NE-YO blew up with the song "So Sick". This song was about a bro who was struggling through a break up in which the lady in question clearly broke his heart. The beat was solid and lyrics were catchy. This bro was unlike anything else. In 2008, he released the album 'Year of the Gentleman'. I'm sure you've heard it, every song was kick ass. He does a song called "Champagne Life"; 'nuff said bros.

This isn't VH1 so I'll get to my point. My fanfare towards NE-YO is deep and diverse, but his overwhelming quality is something I call #NEYOmagic. The bro is so silky smooth and swaggerific, word's can not even describe it. To put it in tennis terms, he is something like Roger Federer's court movement mixed with Bjorn Borg, mixed with that feeling when you were a kid and went to the place with go-karts, mini golf, batting cages and an arcade for the first time.

#NEYOmagic is such a strong force that his video folks have literally used it as the ONLY premise in which they make his music videos by anymore. They typical NE-YO video goes something like this: Waves crashing by a beach, girl rejects NE-YO, bro does sick dance moves most of us can't to awesome beat, girl is smitten by #NEYOmagic. I'm serious, look it up.

Not that this is even the least bit boring to me, the satisfied and envious consumer, but I have a feeling his vids are a place I could make my music industry debut.

Now I know what you're thinking: Billy, you can not dance as well as NE-YO, you can't sing, and you look like an over-sized Jawa bred with a Kardsashian. Oh and Billy, you definitely don't have ANY #NEYOmagic.

Bros, I'm aware. And he could probably hit all return winners off of my serve. That's cool, I accept defeat at the hands of NE-YO. But we could at least change up the routine a little bit. Here is what I suggest:

Ready. Set. BRO.

The plot line involves a love triangle; isosceles preferably. There is a biker, a tennis player and Carly Rae Jepsen. I'm the biker, NE-YO is the tennis player and Carly Rae Jepsen is played by herself. Phillip Michael Thomas is NE-YO's coach and Don Johnson is my partner in crime #MiamiViceopenthedoor. Carly Rae Jepsen loves bad boys...

SIDENOTE: What works in NE-YO videos every time is that the girl is off put by NE-YO being a self-aware bad boy. It is after seductive lyrics and rad dance moves that they become powerless from the #NEYOmagic.

I take CRJ on the Harley; only american mofos. We cruise to sonic for cherry limeades and other super romantic dives. NE-YO shows her his deep court piercing backhand slice; every chick's weakness. The combination of adrenaline romance and extreme tennis bro maneuvers leaves Miss Jepsen's head spinning.

Naturally she gave both of us the option to call her maybe, we both refuse; too busy being badasses. Ultimately it comes down to 1-fall in the square circle. NE-YO goes full Novak BROkovic in the Expendables 2 using a tennis racquet and probably a steal chair to win by DQ. He doesn't care; neither would I, we both buy into the gangsta lifestyle.

Carly Rae obviously walks up to me in slow motion and hocks a major loog in my face, falling victim of some all caps #NEYOMAGIC. Come on, biker over tennis bro #delusional.

Here is the best part, Carly Rae and I really get married in real life and all of a sudden Americans stop making unprovoked jokes about Canada; yeah buddy. And then NE-YO and I co-host the MTV VMA's.

NE-YO, bro, I'll pitch this to your people real soon.

Next time, in the spirit of how much I like to make lists, I'll be counting down the top 10 athletes I would want to go to Happy Hour with.

Follow me on twitter @thetennisbro and use the hashtag #NEYOmagic to spread awareness of what could potentially be a great music video.