Monday, October 22, 2012

Novak Dojokovic, The Randy Orton of Professional Tennis

How's it going bros?

In my many years a fan of professional wrestling, which has spanned the better part of almost 2 decades and with such great organizations as the late WCW and the WWF, prior to becoming WWE. As a kid, I pulled for the likes of Rey Mysteio Jr, The 'Texas Rattle Snake' Stone Cold Steve Austin, and Brett 'The Hitman' Hart.

I liked all of these bookers for 3 reasons that are distinct and different from one another. Brett Hart's sharpshooter was such a beautifully technical and lethal move, it was such a bridge between Ric Flair's classical Figure 4 leg lock and Sting's Scorpion Death lock; which after watching him descend from the rafters in full black and white face paint reminded me of a... wait for it... KISS concert. Stone Cold was a beer drinking, ass kicking 'neck from the south of Texas; some very familiar turf during my early years of watching WWF while living in Laredo. Rey Mysterio was a high-flying luchador with wrestling pageantry coursing through generations of his blood. The man of mystery was also small , fast and masked up; just like the #blackmamba.

The older I grew, the names began to fade out. Hart and Austin sought limited duty due to health and family complications. Rey Mysterio still fights, and his style is unchanged, but I fear moves stable is far superior to his, as is my speed. The man may be ripe for a venom strike.

Since the retirement of Edge last year, my favorites in the game are Sin Cara (That means without face in spanish) and Randy 'The Viper' Orton. Sin Cara, or Mystico, to my Mexican readers, is still new on the scene and I expect great things when Raw drafts him in the next lottery and gets him on a night that people actually watch tv. Randy Orton however, is one of the biggest bros in the history of the sport. Let me share with you a few of his acBROlades:
-He's from Knoxville, TN (where I spent what I like to call the Peyton Manning Years of Elementary school)
-His dad and Grandpa were pro wrestlers, dad named "Cowboy Bob"
-He was discharged from the marines for being too aggressive; can't be easy
-Nickames include 'The Viper', 'The Legend Killer' and 'WWE's Apex Predator'
-2009 Royal Rumble Champion
-Hit on Holk Hogan's daughter during their reality show

The list goes on.

I like The Viper because he has franchise booker type of size, he is shockingly quick on his feet for being such a size, and he is from Tennessee, which never hurt anyone. His nicknames are also not too bad. I still think I could shrink him to my size and knock him on his back with the spear before going to rope on his ass. #Blackmamba

Novak Djokovic is eerily similar in the tennis world to Randy Orton. He doesn't have 6 WWE Titles to his name, but he does have 5 major championships and won 42 straight matches in 2011. These 2 are both so iconic in their sports and are so consistent. To say Orton isn't going to be one of the last 4 standing at the end of the Royal Rumble every year is like saying Novak Djokovic won't make the final of ANY tournament he plays.

Let's talk for a second about how Djokovic, tennis's Apex predator, stalks his prey over the course of a point. Hits a really good serve, contorts his body in ridiculous shapes to hit a sliding forehand, creates insane angles across the court, then finishes his battle weary opponent with a backhand. His backhand is the greatest of all time in this game. Just like the RKO is the greatest finishing move in the history of wrestling. My blinding speed can probably kill a man when I go shoulder first to hit the spear, but when you watch the RKO, it not only looks awesome, but you can really see faces breaking when they hit the mat.

One of the great story lines in wrestling was Randy Orton at the age of 26 going around beating up the legends of the sport. One of the great laughable moments was Novak Djokovic going 100 percent bro on Johnny Mac and calling him out to hit with him after winning his '09 US Open quarter final match. #Legendkiller.

These 2 hold another special distinction in the sports world. They made my Top 10 people in sports I'd like to go to happy hour with.

I promised I was going to make funny happen, this probably fails at that. I've failed at that before. But I hope you the reader learned something about 2 glorious athletes. They probably both could beat me at tennis, but I'd go 1-fall against either any day #tooinsane.

Next time I'll be discussing what I would do if I were a country club bro.

Follow me on twitter @thetennisbro

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